Wants are funny things. Sometimes we want the same things. Sometimes not so much.
If you’re to believe Maslow and popular psychology we all have basic human needs: clothing, shelter, pizza… and eventually love. (Even if it’s the love of pizza. And donuts.)
And while I may not exactly be the master of relationships having had more fiery crash and burns than your average Fast and Furious movie, I’ve still learned a thing or two along the way.
And I’ve realized one of the most absurd wants of all, is when you want the person you want, to want what you want them to want.
Let me say that again: a lot of heart ache stems from the fact you can’t understand why the person you want, doesn’t want what you want them to want. Which usually consists of you. And at least some of the same things you want.
If the person you ache for doesn’t want what you want them to want, you’re aching for the wrong person, plain and simple.
It doesn’t matter how beautiful their smile is. How good their soul is. Or how they don’t stare at you weirdly when you’re asleep. (Probably.) They’re not the one for you. Or more to the point, not a one for you, because I’m going to assume there’s not just the one. That’d be just plain depressing if there was literally only one person on the entire planet you had to seek out to be happy in that department. I mean, what if they live in a hut in the middle of nowhere, right? That’s gonna make finding ‘the one’ tough – unless you happen to live in the hut next door. (Is it even still called next door if there are no doors?)
Not that you have to want all the same things, of course. That’d be just plain dull. But one of the things on their list of wants has to be you. They have to want you. They have to want to be with you. And if they don’t, well, do I really need to say it?
I’m not sure who’s counting, but there are 7.4 billion people in the world. And if the one you’re aching for doesn’t want you, and what you want in, and out of, a relationship, chances are one of the other 7.4billion is a better match. Go find them. No matter how daunting it may seem, finding them is going to be way easier then getting someone else to want what you want them to want.
You can want them as much as you want. And want them to want what you want them to want as much as you want. But that won’t make it so.